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Joy. Hope. Change.
Dec. 21st, 2023 09:27 pmThat is what I manifest for the coming year.
Joy. Hope. Change.
Joy. Hope. Change.
You know what would be great?
Dec. 18th, 2023 08:24 pmA two week winter break. I miss that teacher schedule. It's been twenty years since I had one but damn I miss it. I've done all the Christmas things - gifts obtained, last trip to the post office made, cards sent... I'd like to be done with work now that I'm done with Christmas work. I am getting some time off but I want mooooore.
Wednesday is a Solstice Eve celebration at church (Unitarian, dontcha know), and I'm making persimmon pudding for the potluck, and I'm doing a virtual yoga solstice event on the holiday itself. Happy holidays!
Wednesday is a Solstice Eve celebration at church (Unitarian, dontcha know), and I'm making persimmon pudding for the potluck, and I'm doing a virtual yoga solstice event on the holiday itself. Happy holidays!
Productive Weekend
Dec. 10th, 2023 05:34 pmI got a lot of stuff done this weekend. I graduated from intensive outpatient therapy (10 hours a week, PHEW!) on Thursday, so there were lots of things that were on hold a bit. But I did lots of cleaning and straightening this weekend, and I'm feeling much better.
I also have about 4-5 months to go in this condo. I'll move in April to a new apartment and put this place up for sale. I will be doing a major downsizing online auction in March, and I'll have a lot packed by then (or in storage). Getting rid of stuff is so much fun now that I have a goal in mind.
And it's like, I know that shedding myself of this place won't cure all my ills, and I will have plenty to be annoyed by in the rental situation. But I so look forward to living somewhere where every knock of the pipe and drip of water has to be scrutinized for potential disaster. AND living across the street from Trader Joe's (if all goes well, and I think it will, in regards to where I want to rent.)
I'll admit I had some anxiety elevation today around a couple of house things, but I'm doing much better now. I'll just add what needs to be fixed to the list of things that need to be done to sell this lemon and start over.
I also have about 4-5 months to go in this condo. I'll move in April to a new apartment and put this place up for sale. I will be doing a major downsizing online auction in March, and I'll have a lot packed by then (or in storage). Getting rid of stuff is so much fun now that I have a goal in mind.
And it's like, I know that shedding myself of this place won't cure all my ills, and I will have plenty to be annoyed by in the rental situation. But I so look forward to living somewhere where every knock of the pipe and drip of water has to be scrutinized for potential disaster. AND living across the street from Trader Joe's (if all goes well, and I think it will, in regards to where I want to rent.)
I'll admit I had some anxiety elevation today around a couple of house things, but I'm doing much better now. I'll just add what needs to be fixed to the list of things that need to be done to sell this lemon and start over.
First Sunday of December
Dec. 3rd, 2023 01:58 pmI have a very exciting piece of news to share. When you're not chock full of depression and anxiety, the early darkness of this time of year is annoying but not soul destroying. It is AMAZING. Friends, I've been deeply depressed for four years, and to not be so is such a revelation. I'm not, like, cured or anything, but my anxiety is much, much lower, and I have to actively search for that gloomy place that dominated my brain before now.
I put up Christmas today - finished decorating the tree and the halls (and then getting the storage totes back into the closet). They will be going to the storage unit in January, thus giving more room into my place for packed moving boxes and such.
I also smudged the house for the first time since spring, when I started my even deeper spiral. It felt good.
Through all of this, I'm pulling aside the stuff that will be sold in the giant downsizing auction in March. There is a lot. Most of the big pieces of furniture, lots and lots of decorations and kitchen stuff I just don't want. It's very therapeutic to know this amount of stuff will be out of my life and not moving with me. Sometimes a do-over is just the right thing to do.
I put up Christmas today - finished decorating the tree and the halls (and then getting the storage totes back into the closet). They will be going to the storage unit in January, thus giving more room into my place for packed moving boxes and such.
I also smudged the house for the first time since spring, when I started my even deeper spiral. It felt good.
Through all of this, I'm pulling aside the stuff that will be sold in the giant downsizing auction in March. There is a lot. Most of the big pieces of furniture, lots and lots of decorations and kitchen stuff I just don't want. It's very therapeutic to know this amount of stuff will be out of my life and not moving with me. Sometimes a do-over is just the right thing to do.
Everything itches
Nov. 11th, 2023 09:44 pmI'm having trouble with eczema as the air gets colder and dryer. It's making me itchy and grumpy. I've got some eczema "settling" lotion, but it hasn't settled too much. There are spots on my hands, the back of my neck is itchy, there are other random sritchy scratchy places. My feet also hurt - a fun combo on the bottom of the heel from plantar fasciitis and on the outside if the heels from my shoes because of new pressure from the inserts I'm wearing for the plantar fasciitis. I swear to Pete. Flesh prisons are never happy.
Oh, and I deleted my Tumblr by accident the other night. 2007-2023 RIP! I'm not too upset, as it wasn't a memory collector place, per se. But I was bummed. So much fannish history!
Oh, and I deleted my Tumblr by accident the other night. 2007-2023 RIP! I'm not too upset, as it wasn't a memory collector place, per se. But I was bummed. So much fannish history!
Waking Up (finally)
Nov. 10th, 2023 08:59 pmSo when I look back on things, I have really not been okay since 2012. Before that, I had some patches of not okay, and since I've had patches of okay, but for the most part? Not good. Divorce, friendship breakups, losing Mom, the 45th president, crippling job of doom, the pandemic, all of the house woes... There's always been that place in my head that hosted the dark certainty that nothing would be okay and that life was misery with occasional flashes of hope that made everything worse.
With my medications regulated and my therapy ongoing, I am spending a lot more time in the present because I'm not spending so much energy in active misery. I'm funding the platforms that I'd be sad to be without - Ao3, DW, Tumblr. Silly little Tumblr, I do love that site. And I realized, hey, might as well pay for no ads and support it. I wish it was 2011 (AND HOW IS THAT MORE THAN A DECADE AGO!?!?!?!) in fannish terms, but it's nice to be in this 2023. I have space for new icons. Look, I have a new icon!!!!
I do not love Discord as the fannish congregation site it's become. Chat rooms never were my thing, unless it was for closed groups/projects. There is no way I want to plunge into a channel with people I don't know. Blech. Twitter wasn't great before the manchild destroyed it, but I am definitely feeling the lack of fandom connection it allowed for me.
Anyway, it's nice to just enjoy right now without worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. I'm considering buying a cheap dulcimer for myself for a Christmas gift. I played my aunt's a lot as a kid, and I'd like to make music. I'm hoping more creativity starts seeping back into my life, but I'm not worried about it or waiting for it. I'm just being.
With my medications regulated and my therapy ongoing, I am spending a lot more time in the present because I'm not spending so much energy in active misery. I'm funding the platforms that I'd be sad to be without - Ao3, DW, Tumblr. Silly little Tumblr, I do love that site. And I realized, hey, might as well pay for no ads and support it. I wish it was 2011 (AND HOW IS THAT MORE THAN A DECADE AGO!?!?!?!) in fannish terms, but it's nice to be in this 2023. I have space for new icons. Look, I have a new icon!!!!
I do not love Discord as the fannish congregation site it's become. Chat rooms never were my thing, unless it was for closed groups/projects. There is no way I want to plunge into a channel with people I don't know. Blech. Twitter wasn't great before the manchild destroyed it, but I am definitely feeling the lack of fandom connection it allowed for me.
Anyway, it's nice to just enjoy right now without worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. I'm considering buying a cheap dulcimer for myself for a Christmas gift. I played my aunt's a lot as a kid, and I'd like to make music. I'm hoping more creativity starts seeping back into my life, but I'm not worried about it or waiting for it. I'm just being.
Oh hi take two
Nov. 9th, 2023 11:25 pmI aten't dead.
It was a little touch and go there in August, but thanks to intensive group therapy and a medication change, I'm actually doing better than I have in... years. Many years. Possibly ever. I've always had a gloomy corner of doom in brain, but sunlight is shining into it now. It is bizarre. Is this how normal people feel? Like doom and dread is not imminent? Like you can enjoy life instead of fear it? WACKY.
Sounds fake, but I am experiencing it, so...
I have a new job, too, which I started in June, and I like it. Like, actually enjoy it. It is, omg, it's fun. Not all the time - it's still work - but I like what I'm doing.
As 2023 bleakened earlier in the year, I lost the thread of my witchy exploration. I'm going to pick up following the wheel of the year again with Yule. I'm determined to get past Imbolc this time. 2023 was super rough, y'all. I focus on the changes of nature and the rhythm of life in my emerging practice, and not magic, but with the gloomy corner of doom lighter in my brain banished, maybe there's more magic possible than I originally thought.
It was a little touch and go there in August, but thanks to intensive group therapy and a medication change, I'm actually doing better than I have in... years. Many years. Possibly ever. I've always had a gloomy corner of doom in brain, but sunlight is shining into it now. It is bizarre. Is this how normal people feel? Like doom and dread is not imminent? Like you can enjoy life instead of fear it? WACKY.
Sounds fake, but I am experiencing it, so...
I have a new job, too, which I started in June, and I like it. Like, actually enjoy it. It is, omg, it's fun. Not all the time - it's still work - but I like what I'm doing.
As 2023 bleakened earlier in the year, I lost the thread of my witchy exploration. I'm going to pick up following the wheel of the year again with Yule. I'm determined to get past Imbolc this time. 2023 was super rough, y'all. I focus on the changes of nature and the rhythm of life in my emerging practice, and not magic, but with the gloomy corner of doom lighter in my brain banished, maybe there's more magic possible than I originally thought.
Happy Imbolc!
Feb. 1st, 2023 09:33 pmOh hi, it's my first witchy holiday as a secular witch. I never really knew what Imbolc was, and now that I do, I'm pretty excited about it. We're halfway between the winter and the spring solstice. It's been ridic cold and icky here the past week, but today was sunny and in the 40s, which is perfect winter day for me. I took the day off and did some self care and cleansing kinds of things - changed the sheets, showered, washed my hairbrushes, that kind of thing. I got out a bit, and I saw robins, and heard the birdsong which always begins about this time and assures that there is hope for spring. Tonight I lighted seven candles and meditated, and it was lovely.
Imbolc comes from an Irish word that means in the belly - as in, the baby animals who are approaching the birthing season. I get that burgeoning feeling. I decided that, new job or not, May 5 will be my last day at the job I've been extremely miserable doing since 2020. There is some fear - okay, a lot of it - but I truly think something is going to come through for me or I'm going to make things happen on my own. I've been thinking about offering some consulting services, and I've been reaching out to friends who have their own companies. It feels right. I know it's not the wisest thing to pass up an extremely well paying job with excellent benefits, but I don't like anything about what I do, and I don't like who I am when I'm miserable trying to get through each boring, unfulfilling, and extremely stressful day.
I'll be adding as much as I can to my savings between now and then,and I really really hope that things work out so that I can take about a week or two in between whatever I end up doing to just sleep and recover a little from giving four years of my life to this craziness.
Imbolc comes from an Irish word that means in the belly - as in, the baby animals who are approaching the birthing season. I get that burgeoning feeling. I decided that, new job or not, May 5 will be my last day at the job I've been extremely miserable doing since 2020. There is some fear - okay, a lot of it - but I truly think something is going to come through for me or I'm going to make things happen on my own. I've been thinking about offering some consulting services, and I've been reaching out to friends who have their own companies. It feels right. I know it's not the wisest thing to pass up an extremely well paying job with excellent benefits, but I don't like anything about what I do, and I don't like who I am when I'm miserable trying to get through each boring, unfulfilling, and extremely stressful day.
I'll be adding as much as I can to my savings between now and then,and I really really hope that things work out so that I can take about a week or two in between whatever I end up doing to just sleep and recover a little from giving four years of my life to this craziness.
Today was a Monday, but it was a Monday in which I got some things done! I made a delicious chicken pot pie, put away what I washed in the dishwasher yesterday, and didn't hate work as much as usual (just the normal amount). Thus the post.
I'm having fun with my witchy journey. I think I mentioned that I don't believe in deities, and that was the thing kind of keeping me from embracing anything for reals. Now that I've discovered secular witchcraft, I'm finding that it is really just intentional mindfulness with pretty smelling things that connect you to the earth and nature better. Fun! I haven't done much aside from some gentle intention setting and lots of reading, but it's good. I'm going to low key celebrate Imbolc, which is something new.
I reject a lot of the "woo woo" stuff I just can't get behind. Like I get a big fat nothing from any rock or crystal, for example, and this has always been the case, so that part is right out. I'm not, like, imagining there will be *~*~magical*~*~ happenings at any time. I really really like the discipline of having patterns to follow with neat props to help sustain my brain. I've been a lot less full of despair this month in some important ways. So that is super cool!
I think this year for my patio, I will do an herb garden, because why the hell not? I love rosemary when it's not being used as a prop for some witchy workings.
Joy/Miss Mouse/Chaos Mouse is doing great. She outgrew her kitten climbing tree, so there is a new sturdier one for her now. Her health remains good, and her appetite prolific - this cat will eat pieces of lettuce, squash, peas, anything that falls on the kitchen floor and anything I'll share with her. Ridiculous baby. She's keeping me on my toes. She is also the reason why I keep all of my witchy materials in the hearth that is shut off to her by a screen I keep tied together with bread ties.
I'm having fun with my witchy journey. I think I mentioned that I don't believe in deities, and that was the thing kind of keeping me from embracing anything for reals. Now that I've discovered secular witchcraft, I'm finding that it is really just intentional mindfulness with pretty smelling things that connect you to the earth and nature better. Fun! I haven't done much aside from some gentle intention setting and lots of reading, but it's good. I'm going to low key celebrate Imbolc, which is something new.
I reject a lot of the "woo woo" stuff I just can't get behind. Like I get a big fat nothing from any rock or crystal, for example, and this has always been the case, so that part is right out. I'm not, like, imagining there will be *~*~magical*~*~ happenings at any time. I really really like the discipline of having patterns to follow with neat props to help sustain my brain. I've been a lot less full of despair this month in some important ways. So that is super cool!
I think this year for my patio, I will do an herb garden, because why the hell not? I love rosemary when it's not being used as a prop for some witchy workings.
Joy/Miss Mouse/Chaos Mouse is doing great. She outgrew her kitten climbing tree, so there is a new sturdier one for her now. Her health remains good, and her appetite prolific - this cat will eat pieces of lettuce, squash, peas, anything that falls on the kitchen floor and anything I'll share with her. Ridiculous baby. She's keeping me on my toes. She is also the reason why I keep all of my witchy materials in the hearth that is shut off to her by a screen I keep tied together with bread ties.
buh bye 2022
Dec. 31st, 2022 09:45 pmHere's the summation of 2022: It sucked. For the most part, it was stressful and frustrating and very, very sad in many ways. I'm not going to taunt 2023, because heaven knows, it could always get worse. But I have some hope that this new year will be one in which I take care of myself better, cut myself more slack, and have more fun while mitigating stress as much as possible. I don't usually make resolutions, but I am setting some specific goals for the year. I'm also going to explore some areas of spirituality that I've never considered. Or, I have considered them, but in a casual, "oh don't be silly" way. I've been a casual pagan for... ever? I love the cyclical nature of solstices, the pagan echoes of holly and ivy peeking through at Christmas, and old ways. But I'm not a believer - I dipped my toes into wicca and pagan paths about 10 years ago, and I just don't believe in the deities that it seemed were integral to practice. I don't believe in the power of crystals and magical herbs, and wowzers, I don't want any of the hooey "facts" that have been made up around both ways of worshiping.
However, I do very much believe in setting intentions and honoring old traditions, and I'm going to lean into that, while I pay attention to cycles of nature and more meaningful connection to it. I don't believe in gods or goddesses, but I absolutely believe in the energy that binds everything together, and I've always considered it a feminine energy, and I can call that "goddess" for shorthand.
I mean, y'all know I love the witch aesthetic. I'm mired in it. So why not claim the witchery that makes sense to me? So I will. I need that spiritual growth to support myself in this unpleasant world. I have white sage to burn at midnight right after I open the front door and the back window to let the old year out and the new year in. I have two more days off, and I am just going to clean and organize and snuggle my kitty and hope for the best.
However, I do very much believe in setting intentions and honoring old traditions, and I'm going to lean into that, while I pay attention to cycles of nature and more meaningful connection to it. I don't believe in gods or goddesses, but I absolutely believe in the energy that binds everything together, and I've always considered it a feminine energy, and I can call that "goddess" for shorthand.
I mean, y'all know I love the witch aesthetic. I'm mired in it. So why not claim the witchery that makes sense to me? So I will. I need that spiritual growth to support myself in this unpleasant world. I have white sage to burn at midnight right after I open the front door and the back window to let the old year out and the new year in. I have two more days off, and I am just going to clean and organize and snuggle my kitty and hope for the best.
December Things
Dec. 18th, 2022 09:51 pm- I can't seem to put my mind to reading this month. Not even wonderful fic! I know this is not a permanent thing, but it's annoying.
- No Christmas tree this year because of kitten, which I thought would make me sad, but turns out it's good to take a break sometimes. I have a card tree of sorts - some of my childhood cards - on a greeting card rack. It has nothing dangling for Miss Mouse to play with and I can see my Baby's First Christmas card from here. Sweet.
- I lost the Little Drummer Boy game the weekend after Thanksgiving and as a result, I've been listening to more Christmas music than usual. I have never been a huge fan of continuous Xmas tune-age, but I dunno, this year it is hitting the spot.
- I've done some creative projects for Christmas gifts, but it hasn't been enough. However my craft room is a wasteland of clutter right now, and I don't have the energy to tackle it. Like, none at all. Maybe next week when I'm off - I have a charity pick up coming up on 12/30, so I can get more things purged and maybe, just maybe, organized.
- I'm in dumpling season. Pierogis are so good.
- Despite having the attention span of a fruit fly, I'm almost to a one year streak on Duolingo and I am making slow progress with more complex level 1 Spanish. I'm understanding conversations at stores! It's pretty cool.
- If I don't take a nap with the kitten after work each day, then she is a wilder thing than usual. So darn, I guess I gotta keep taking naps.
- I'm leading the theater group for Fairmount Heritage Foundation and I have a planning meeting in January with my cemetery friends, and I'm stupid excited about it. A goal for 2023 is an Edwardian afternoon dress/gown for cemetery event purposes.
- I'm sleepy so I guess that's it for now.
I had today off after a great Thanksgiving. I'm very grateful for my kitten, a car that I can depend on, a home with two nicely redone bathrooms, and amazing friends. I took down all the fall decorations, but it's been warm, and I didn't feel like putting up decorations. Kitty made an escape... I have to figure out how to block her from squirming out the front door. Thankfully she didn't run off and I stayed nice and calm and was able to walk up to her and snatch her up. Then I put her halter on and we went for a nice long excursion in the leaves and grass by the condo. We didn't go too far because I've been waiting around all day for a new work computer to arrive. I hope it shows so waiting around all day will be made worth it. I'm absolutely getting out tomorrow for Small Business Saturday. At least I'm caught up on my laundry!
Subjects are hard
Nov. 23rd, 2022 10:07 pmI think I spent most of my first years on LJ not filling them out, and I think I was okay with that.
I took today off and I spent it on Thanksgiving tasks. My refrigerator rolls are not as sweet as they should be because DUH I didn't put in the amount of sugar called for in the recipe. I think they'll be okay, though? I hate it when my baking doesn't turn out. Some years they turn out so well. But they are made from scratch and full o' butter, so it ought to be fine for friendsgiving tomorrow.
I made sausage balls, too, but they don't taste like they did when Mom made them.
I spent a lot of today vanquishing creeping despair. I looked at Twitter with no filters, and WOW, that bruises my soul. I do not want what it has. I have two lists that show just DoDo videos and Untamed recs. Actually I should just cut down who I follow to the bone. I still haven't checked out Mastodon because it is more complex than I have brain for right now. Anyway, so I went back and forth from the despair of the world being awful and me getting older in it and not really liking either at all to kicking the blues in the head and just looking forward to this nice long weekend.
My kitty is a chaos mouse, but I sure am enjoying having her around. She is so silly. She does help with kicking the blues in the head.
I took today off and I spent it on Thanksgiving tasks. My refrigerator rolls are not as sweet as they should be because DUH I didn't put in the amount of sugar called for in the recipe. I think they'll be okay, though? I hate it when my baking doesn't turn out. Some years they turn out so well. But they are made from scratch and full o' butter, so it ought to be fine for friendsgiving tomorrow.
I made sausage balls, too, but they don't taste like they did when Mom made them.
I spent a lot of today vanquishing creeping despair. I looked at Twitter with no filters, and WOW, that bruises my soul. I do not want what it has. I have two lists that show just DoDo videos and Untamed recs. Actually I should just cut down who I follow to the bone. I still haven't checked out Mastodon because it is more complex than I have brain for right now. Anyway, so I went back and forth from the despair of the world being awful and me getting older in it and not really liking either at all to kicking the blues in the head and just looking forward to this nice long weekend.
My kitty is a chaos mouse, but I sure am enjoying having her around. She is so silly. She does help with kicking the blues in the head.
BtVS and eternal stress
Nov. 21st, 2022 09:10 pmIn the last year or so, I broke up with Star Wars mostly due to the fandom being gross and the stories tired. Due to JKR being awful, I expunged Harry Potter from my life, for the most part. But even though Joss Whedon is a true asshat and wretched person, I cannot quit Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Never gonna give her up. There's a podcast called The Rewatcher that has two sisters - one of whom watched the show live as a teenager and the other who was too young and never saw it - recapping each episode. It's really funny, and I get both the newbie and the "I remember these old days!" viewpoints along with highlights of the best lines and banter. I'm a third of the way through season two, and I'm enjoying it in a way I haven't in a long, long time. I can't believe it is a vintage show with plenty of stuff that has "aged like a human" and now ancient technology. The younger one makes great predictions, and the older sis reminisces so fondly.
In other news, I am freaking stressed out like crazy. It is job stress. It is never ending. Seriously, there is no sign of things ever slowing down, and I am bone weary. One of the longtime employees on my team is retiring, and when she goes, it is going to be so bad. I can't keep up, and the boss (who is literally still dying of her incurable cancer) does things like call me Melissa in emails giving out fragmented orders. I didn't get a pretty cool job with a nice consulting company, but they've encouraged me to keep checking postings.Sigh. Mostly I just want to win the lottery and sleep for a month. Alas, not an option.
I'm also overwhelmed by trying to keep the house tidy (impossible), myself nutritiously well fed (sporadically happening but it makes dirty dishes which ties into the first item), and on top of all my responsibilities/commitments/needs for creativity. And exercise. God. Gotta exercise more because I am feeling old and achy and weak.
BOO. And not the fun Halloween kind of BOO, either.
In other news, I am freaking stressed out like crazy. It is job stress. It is never ending. Seriously, there is no sign of things ever slowing down, and I am bone weary. One of the longtime employees on my team is retiring, and when she goes, it is going to be so bad. I can't keep up, and the boss (who is literally still dying of her incurable cancer) does things like call me Melissa in emails giving out fragmented orders. I didn't get a pretty cool job with a nice consulting company, but they've encouraged me to keep checking postings.Sigh. Mostly I just want to win the lottery and sleep for a month. Alas, not an option.
I'm also overwhelmed by trying to keep the house tidy (impossible), myself nutritiously well fed (sporadically happening but it makes dirty dishes which ties into the first item), and on top of all my responsibilities/commitments/needs for creativity. And exercise. God. Gotta exercise more because I am feeling old and achy and weak.
BOO. And not the fun Halloween kind of BOO, either.
It's the end of the week! It's the end of a long and frustrating week!!! I took a nap and now I'm just sitting here kind of meh, needing to make dinner and kick off my Halloween long weekend. I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off, mostly because of Halloween but partly because of my job interview Monday morning, in which I will dress as the interview candidate who gets the job.
I'm also strangely, hmm. Let down? Is that the word? I don't know. I'm feeling weird about Halloween weekend. I think it's because it's Christmas in the stores, and I've had my fill of activities and buying fun holiday stuff. It feels like the actual holiday should have been last weekend. Not that I don't have plans to enjoy myself and do some final spooky things this weekend and Monday.
I think I'm mostly just pretty damn tired, and that's kind of bleeding into everything.
I'm also strangely, hmm. Let down? Is that the word? I don't know. I'm feeling weird about Halloween weekend. I think it's because it's Christmas in the stores, and I've had my fill of activities and buying fun holiday stuff. It feels like the actual holiday should have been last weekend. Not that I don't have plans to enjoy myself and do some final spooky things this weekend and Monday.
I think I'm mostly just pretty damn tired, and that's kind of bleeding into everything.
Things I Miss
Oct. 18th, 2022 09:06 pmI miss icons. Remember searching for icons? Just the right ones? I miss that. The ones I have now are classics, and I love them. But I miss searching for new ones and shuffling mine around.
I miss feeling excited about Yuletide. I just don't have it in me to be enthused anymore, and it is a shame. I'd love to feel excited and want to participate.
Mostly I just want a nap. And I already took one today! SIGH. My allergies are kicking my ass - a combo of fall pollen, new cat, and dust from bathroom renovation.
I miss posting witches. Have a witch.
I miss feeling excited about Yuletide. I just don't have it in me to be enthused anymore, and it is a shame. I'd love to feel excited and want to participate.
Mostly I just want a nap. And I already took one today! SIGH. My allergies are kicking my ass - a combo of fall pollen, new cat, and dust from bathroom renovation.
I miss posting witches. Have a witch.
Today was a fun day under a wide brimmed hat at this festival. I splurged on VIP tickets because they came with parking (the street parking is INSANE), a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch, and axe throwing! I threw axes! Three stuck!
This park is a former farm and one time stage stop (four miles from Denver), and it's now a restored working homestead with farm animals, blacksmith, root cellar, original house, bees and honey - all pretty cool. I'm not sure how a fall day with a high in the low 70s can feel hotter than a summer day, but it was one of those days with a bright blue sky.
I had pie with ice cream as my treat, and I got a great, warty little pumpkin (plus some rosemary bundles for periodic house cleansing). I left when I started feeling tired, which was just right. I'll be going again in a couple of weeks for a 21+ Spirits and Sprites evening. I'm planning my costume now. It gets chilly at night now.
This park is a former farm and one time stage stop (four miles from Denver), and it's now a restored working homestead with farm animals, blacksmith, root cellar, original house, bees and honey - all pretty cool. I'm not sure how a fall day with a high in the low 70s can feel hotter than a summer day, but it was one of those days with a bright blue sky.
I had pie with ice cream as my treat, and I got a great, warty little pumpkin (plus some rosemary bundles for periodic house cleansing). I left when I started feeling tired, which was just right. I'll be going again in a couple of weeks for a 21+ Spirits and Sprites evening. I'm planning my costume now. It gets chilly at night now.
Stella, 2011-2022
Oct. 7th, 2022 10:40 pm
I said goodbye to Stella Lucille in July. She'd been with me since she was three years old, so she was my buddy for a long time. She was so, so young. She'd had some chronic - but not life-threatening - issues over the past two to three years, but her bloodwork was always good. Until it wasn't. She had an abdominal mass and fluid filling up her lungs at the very sudden end.
She was a good kitty, and I loved her. She was scared of everything, she didn't climb on anything or knock stuff off, eat ravenously, or well, do most normal cat things. She was a little broken, but she was mine, and I did the best I could to make her life happy and comfortable and full of love.
It used to be...
Oct. 7th, 2022 10:07 pmThat I would do a Halloween countdown every year. I had a whole Halloween Tumblr account that went from August to November. But I haven't done that in a good long while, even pre-pandemic.
I do not have the brain for a for real countdown, but I am Doing Things this spooky season, and I will talk about them. Maybe post pics of my decorations.
If I can remember how...
I do not have the brain for a for real countdown, but I am Doing Things this spooky season, and I will talk about them. Maybe post pics of my decorations.
If I can remember how...
Yuletide Letter
Oct. 21st, 2021 03:44 pmWhich I will absolutely update soon!
Things I Love:
Super graphic violence (think torture or super explicit fights - plain old fights are fine)
Animals getting hurt
Not a fan of extreme kink, but mild exploration is a-okay, especially if it is in character/canon
Too much fluff - a little fluff is great, but I like some comedy or cool discussion or a bit o' angst to bracket the fluff.
Out of character representations - if it's just an interpreted projection onto a familiar character, then I'd rather go to the library.
Things I Love:
- Gen to smut and anything in between - if it's a good story, I don't care whether there are sexy times or not.
- Redemption arcs
- Villains (I love villains. They can be grey, all bad, or on their way to better, but I love flawed, angry people who lash out in complex ways.)
- Hurt/comfort
- Enemies to lovers
- Canonical characterization (you can do an AU if you need to, so long as the characters are very in character, if that makes sense)
- Two people finding out that despite their seemingly huge differences, they slot together to make each other whole
- Two people who are "it's you and me against the world".
- Ridiculous ensemble shenanigans
- Found family
Super graphic violence (think torture or super explicit fights - plain old fights are fine)
Animals getting hurt
Not a fan of extreme kink, but mild exploration is a-okay, especially if it is in character/canon
Too much fluff - a little fluff is great, but I like some comedy or cool discussion or a bit o' angst to bracket the fluff.
Out of character representations - if it's just an interpreted projection onto a familiar character, then I'd rather go to the library.
