. . . until one day, he fell victim to a nasty accident involving the wife of a high-ranking member of the mafia, a faulty bungee cord, a small fire, forty-two bullets of six different calibers, an elevator shaft, a complete set of ginsu knives, a freak landslide, an infestation of brown recluse spiders, a garrote, one ripe tomato, a case of food poisoning, a stone wall, enough arsenic to kill a bull elephant, a bull elephant, a speeding dumpster truck, an experimental laser, africanized killer bees, a sledgehammer, punji stakes, punji snakes, a model airplane, a horde of flesh-eating squirrels, carbon monoxide poisoning, a vat of acid, a crowbar, four icepicks, three chainsaws, two screwdrivers (one flathead, one phillips), a length of string, the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe, and a small wooden spoon.